News Story Du Jour: Harassment

Normally, I wouldn't do a topic like this but the news has been relentless...on and on and on. It seems like an endless pit of bad behavior from men. The harassment stories of Weinstein seems to have burst a dam. And I'm sure that men everywhere are wondering if someone somewhere at some point will claim he harassed her 20 or 30 years ago because at that time it was safe to do so. Did all men harass women? No, but I'm sure there were quite a few who did. And now, 20...30 years later, some women are coming out with accusations. How widespread was this?

As a matter of fact, a title of one of the articles was "...men are quaking in their shoes..." (Or something like that.)

There was one story about Mark Halpern that caught my eye: he asked a lady to sit on his lap. I stopped and thought "that once happened to me but not at work". Instead, it happened at a party when I was in college, probably during freshmen orientation. In that instance I didn't think it was harassment but thought it was a form of flirting. I said no because I didn't feel it was my thing and was naïve. What Mark Halpern did was different because it occurred at work and the dynamics were way different: there was a power dynamics here that wasn't present when I received the

same request at a party. I didn't have to worry about him affecting my life.

I wonder, did Mark Halpern fail to grow up and realize that what one did in college, at parties, becomes something very different at work? That those behavior becomes unacceptable?

The other stories that made me think were those of men thrusting themselves on women and kissing them without permission. That...I think could have happened quite frequently and probably men everywhere are worrying. Those bodice rippers that I read in college out of curiosity described men thrusting themselves upon women and kissing them, oftentimes with a fake fight of refusal. In my young and naïve eyes, it seemed like the men were assaulting women. Did the men read bodice rippers and think it was okay to kiss women without permission? Those bodice rippers had some elements that I was very uncomfortable with.

The kiss without permission happened to me but not at work but at a New Year's Eve dance party. A guy I knew kissed me without my permission, saying "You can't blame a guy for trying" and I wasn't happy about it. As a matter of fact, I never again went to a New Year's party, especially if I knew he would be there. What he did could be considered harassment, although a mild form because he only did it once. And I'm sure that behavior was very out of character for him. 

But is he wondering if he could be accused of harassment? I don't know; I'm not even sure he would remember. But if it was out of character for him, maybe he would remember and is now "quaking in his shoes".

How many guys did that one fatal behavior?